Finding God in a Waterfall

Have you ever just sat by a waterfall and pondered the power?   As a part of my spiritual retreat day, I visited the waterfall in our little town.  I had chosen to try a new retreat strategy developed by eDot/GEM.  Nature draws me ever closer to God; therefore I requested a plan based on the natural world.

The original plan meant driving about an hour northeast of us to a grand waterfall, but the questionable weather led me to opt for the small fall in town.  Cold and damp surrounded me, but the question of how the waterfall reminds me of God’s provision and care kept me focused.  I recognized the absolute power of God, His outpourings of grace: the essence of life personified in the cascade.  The ability to hear and see the water gave me joy.  I chose a seat not far from the water, but more focused on the peaceful meandering of the stream just above the fall.  As I reflected on God’s grace I began to recognize small pools of quiet, while in other areas the water ran more swiftly.  How like God, this mixture of peace and power!

An evergreen tree reached its branches out over my head and reminding me, “His banner over me is love.”  The continuous flow of water drew me into a deeper understanding of how God continuously draws me to Himself.   Moving upstream from the fall connected my situation with Elijah’s experience of God-first the loud, wild wind, then the earthquake, and the fire.  I heard the roar and saw the power of the water, but then I sat, viewing the gentle quiet movement of the powerful stream.  God had called me to quietness, peace, and trust.

In that moment I was a peaceful pool.  God’s grace flows from me to those with whom I work, fellowship, and study German.  There were several smaller falls, but they had deep pools into which they pour.  Am I to be satisfied with being a small, yet deep, pool? And the debris, stuck behind rocks: some unwanted things God washes away, others He leaves for His purposes. 

Our river has many waterfalls, some man-made, some not. 

To me, they represent God’s pouring forth his grace and His Spirit.  In the same way, God’s grace and His Spirit are bountifully pouring forth His power, love and holiness in multitudes of ways, sometimes by the hand of man, but, mostly, mysteriously by God Who graciously gives His Presence to a sorrowing world.

Sprechen Sie Deutsch?

I got a haircut today.  No big deal, right?  Normally, I would agree, but today I recognized the benefits of three weeks of intensive German classes.  The haircut was supposed to be done by a woman who spoke English.  It wasn’t.  From my entrance into the shop, I realized I would be maneuvering through the stress of a haircut without benefit of my Mother tongue.  How did this happen?

For the past three weeks I have spent every weekday afternoon in Lorrach, a local city, studying German with 18 other people.  From one to five each day I find myself, along my fellow students, drinking from the fire hydrant of German language learning, head spinning and mind exploding.

Some of us come with former experience in German; others have learned several languages.  A few are struggling just to take a breath.  We represent five continents, twelve countries, and speak more than seven different languages.

 As a teacher, I come with a unique perspective on learning, and I am influenced by the work I will be doing as a teacher of English as a foreign language.  I want to reach out to the students who struggle, change the attitude of the teacher toward sassy students, and, unfortunately, be the perfect student who makes no mistakes myself.

The tenor of the class changes with the instructor.  On Monday and Friday the young male teacher plays along with the joking and noise.  On Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, the more experienced female instructor uses sarcasm and body language to keep the class under control.

Home work for German class

In both cases the class often reminds me of my 6^th period chemistry class of several semesters.  The class tenor tends toward rowdy, with some who try to be teacher’s pet.  My own students seemed to be just one step from totally chaos.  This Language class has the same problem.  We are learning in the afternoon when we really want to be free of encumbrances and not have struggle with yet another German grammar concept.  (Let me interject, I am so very thankful for learning English grammar.  That knowledge has already saved me on a number of occasions!)  Students have come to German class to learn German, but fun is more inviting! 

The class structure has us out of our seats regularly, playing games and conversing with one another.  We have workbooks and handouts and make lots of charts and lists of words, conjugations, and parts of speech.  The fast paced lessons leave me (and others half my age) exhausted at the end of each session.  But…

Here is the ‘but’.  Today I spent 45 minutes getting my hair cut by a woman who does not speak English.  Nor did her assistant who washed my hair.   I realized during the hair washing I could understand part of the conversation.  Enough to get my hair cut the way I wanted.  But, more than that, the ‘but’ is I am relaxing with German.  I still try to translate every word, but (again) I am developing comprehension and, at the same time, accepting what I don’t know as fuel for future learning. 

I love learning German, not something most would say, but, to answer the question in the first paragraph, I recognize growth in my ability to communicate in German.    

In The Hands of the Carpenter

I remember, as a child, watching my father make something out of wood.  Amazed as he transformed a plain piece of wood into a beautiful shelf, rack, or cabinet, I also appreciated his care and understanding of just how to deal with the lumber he used.

 Now, having spent almost 366 days on home assignment, I recognize how like my Heavenly Father’s care for me, my father’s diligence and care for his creation was.  Sawing off unnecessary pieces, coarsely sanding the rough spots, gently handling and smoothing to bring out the beauty.  Just as my dad did this with his work, God continues to remove every blemish, every imperfection in me, making my life a reflection of His Glory.

Musing on this year, I see so many ways He has been working, sanding, removing, and embellishing my life with grace.  Let me reflect out loud:

Wall-to-wall cars are the pits.  If you have ever driven in Southern California, you don’t need to read further.  Let me just say I will never appreciate driving the congested, smoggy freeways of Orange County.  Living in a town in Germany with only one stoplight has spoiled me forever!

God blessed the broken road when He brought Smitty and I together. 

We have 38 years of growing, loving, living together.  Aside from the first couple of years, this has been the hardest one for us as a couple.  God has used His saw on me to remove some selfish, unnecessary parts.  Yet I look back on the struggles and learning together and praise God for His hand on us.  What we share has been worth the work.

All of us are unique.   I often think critically of others, but I’m coming to realize my criticism is not God’s.  Each person reveals special talents and gifts, messiness and pain that are unique to that person.  None of us demonstrates perfection.  The more I see others as imperfect, the more I recognize imperfections in myself.  Who am I to criticize?  God’s gentle sanding of my soul discloses more grace for others, less expectation of their perfection.

What is grief?   Ennui and unrest filled our first few months in the US last summer. I grappled with crazy thoughts, abrasive talk, and miscommunication.  Finally, someone wisely shared I was grieving.  Grieving a way of life, grieving my classroom, my students, and my community.  At that moment I had a choice to accept the grief and feel it’s affects on me or shun it and continue to be an unreasonable houseguest.  The struggle did not end immediately, but I now recognize grief for what it is:  I feel a loss and that loss brings pain.  Being honest with myself has opened doors to accept the grief others bear.  Some talk, some cry, some retreat, others post on social media.  None of these are wrong, just different.  Another way I am learning to embrace the uniqueness of God’s children and love them unconditionally.   Another way to abide in Christ.  Another way God’s hand molds me into His image.

Its not so much about where I live but how I live-our roots are not in places but in people

As we prepare to return to Germany I am aware of heartache due to family and friends we will leave here in the United States.  Our grandson and oldest granddaughter just married the loves of their lives, and we will miss rubbing shoulders, sharing stories.  Our long-time pastor retires in September and a new man will shepherd our OC church.  We will miss being part of the choosing, part of the newness of this change of leadership.

On the other hand, we will not miss our house, still rented, in Garden Grove.  This studio apartment has served us well, but I won’t miss it.  We go to our apartment in Kandern, but it is the people there we long to see, not the place.  It’s funny how, when I think of a place, the memory always is about time shared with people there.

Relationships and making time for people have become major investments of this year in the US.  All that we own can disappear, but the people we love, whether in Africa, Europe, Asia, Australia, South America, or here on the North American continent, these people have become my focus.  I’m excited, too, to re-establish relationships in Germany.  Time and love invested in people explain my joy in life. 

God’s grace is sufficient How can I begin to share all God has done this past 11 months?  Overwhelmed by the answers to prayers both big and small, I count my Lord as my best friend.   In scripture He is described as a rock, shepherd, door, truth, light, bread of life, living water, and more.  I have experienced Him in all of these ways.  I’m amazed to awaken in the night, begin to fret, pray for His peace and find I’ve slept well for the rest of the night.  The political climate, the social calamities, the physical ills of this life all point to two choices:  I can trust Him and believe He controls all things, or I can spend my life in fear and worry.  I am learning to choose the first option and shun the second. 

The next week find us sorting, storing, packing and shipping to return to Germany.  We leave our Tustin apartment, spend two days on the east coast, fly to Zurich, live in France for two more days (long story for another time) and re establish our home in Kandern around the middle of July.  Lots of upheaval, lots to do, but in the entire transition one thing remains constant.  God’s gentle hand continues to make me into the person He has prepared for me since before the foundations of the earth.  I can trust His hand to gently supply all I need.  And that is good enough for me.

But as for me, the nearness of God is my good;
I have made the Lord GOD my refuge,
That I may tell of all Your works. Psalm 73

Sovereign

Sunday we sang, "Sovereign on the mountain top, sovereign on the ocean floor..."

Usually, I resist change.  I do not like having plans which change without my permission.  And I oppose those who direct my paths in ways I have not chosen.  Leaving Germany for a year has been foisted upon me, causing all kinds of disruption and chaos.  Cleaning the apartment has become a never-ending story.  Most of all, my heart is breaking for all the goodbyes and so-longs.

Smitty has posted "We are excited..." posters around the apartment; I have appreciated the reminder to think of the positives of spending time with our children, grandchildren, and friends.  But I continue to wonder about the wisdom of this move.  Until today...

Today the song's reminder of God's sovereignty over "all the pieces of my life" became a reality. Pieces came together and I can truly rejoice in this season of my life.

The puzzle began to come together on Sunday evening when our downstairs neighbors, Martin and Alice, invited us to a cook out, the first time ever.  Martin, as we ate, proclaimed this cook out to be the first of many our two families would have up our return next summer.  This dinner was born of our revelation to Alice of our imminent departure.

Next, Smitty found a car, just like our daughter and son-in-law want, for us to purchase while in the US, then sell to them before we return to Germany.

And a friend sent us information about a possible rental in Southern California.

This morning the puzzle became even clearer when Smitty asked another of our neighbors if we could get a photo of them.  While talking, another neighbor began to translate and she and I decided we should work together to learn each other's language when the Smiths return in 2017.  I want to not only learn German, but have someone with whom to practice!

I have no idea about what picture this puzzle will finally have.  I do know that both Smitty and I have wanted to have relationships with our fellow apartment dwellers, but without much German have not been clear how to bring about connection.  We both want good attitudes about the unknown before us.  And we want to honor God in all we do.  The events of the past few days have pointed to the sovereignty of God; His ultimate control over all we do.  And it looks like the puzzle will be amazing!

By the Numbers

Quantifying the human condition does nothing to empathize with the pain, but I have chosen to use numbers to demonstrate the enormity of the displaced persons situation occurring in the world.

65 million:  The number of refugees in the world right now.  Reportedly, more than any time since World War II

2,200:  The number of refugees being housed in Moria prison/camp on the south east corner of Lesvos.

60%:  The number of men in Moria camp.  I would love to know how many of those are single and between the ages of 14 and 30.

40%:  The number of women and children presently living in Moria.

90:  The number of days it takes to get papers granting an interview in Athens.  If one is Syrian.

20:  My estimate of the number of different language groups living in Moria.  I guarantee my estimate is low.

2:  The number of days it takes refugees to walk from the Skala camp to the Moria camp.

3 million:  More than this number, according to Amnesty International, await the opportunity to leave Turkey.

6 miles/10 Kilometers:  The distance from Turkey to Lesvos at their closest.

2 hours:  Time it takes to manuever the rafts across the Aegean, if weather is good.

1:  Number of times Smitty got to use his fix-it skills in Moria.

255:  Number of hours we spent on Lesvos.

160:  Number of hours we spent working in either Skala or Moria camps.

Incalculable:  Number of heartbreaking stories of desperation and loss by refugees.

This recounting is based on my time in Lesvos,  my perception, with a few facts gained in the process of being there.  Many have blogged, made videos, written editorials.  The only way to know for sure is to go.