Good Enough

Snow has fallen for five straight days, but I never tire of watching the peaceful flakes float down from the sky.  Snow brings quiet and white, but, for me, it also brings joyful memories of a day in early April. On that day I watched in amazement as snow, rain, and sun played tag as a group of singles shared communion together. On that day my heart was forever changed.

Snow from our loft

As a child, I tried very hard to please my parents.  A little voice inside of me always said, "If you are just good enough, you will be loved."  So I tried to be good enough until I left for college where I rebelled in a large way.  I managed to pull it together, get married, start a family, and finish my education in time to keep my "good girl" image somewhat intact.

Eight years and three children into that marriage  I wanted out.  No one had told me that people from different backgrounds usually have different ways of communicating and coping.  I thought I needed someone to love me better, so I divorced.  And my parents reacted quite negatively to my actions.  I lost the "good girl", the one who was good enough to be loved.

Enter the Christian singles group and the communion service.  That day I learned that what I longed for does not come from people, but from One much greater.  The singles shared many stories of how God had met their needs for forgiveness, relationship, unconditional love.  New revelation to me as I had never experienced unconditional love.  Through the intermittent rain, snow, and sun, God spoke to my heart.  The relationship I really longed for could only be in Him.  The forgiveness I needed could only be in His Son.  I found peace I had never known in my years of striving to be "good enough" that day.   One Who loved me for me.

Snow reminds me of the day my heart was filled with peace.  Snow reminds me that I can never be good enough, and flakes floating through the air fill me with thankfulness for the One who makes me better than "good enough" and loves me unconditionally.